I Entertain a Doubt

He tentatively knocks at my door.
Come in, I say as I open my house to him.
I’ve been expecting you.
I invite him to the living room
but he says he prefers the kitchen;
the heart of your home he calls it.
He sits at the table while I make the coffee
and set out the morning-glory muffins
I’ve especially prepared. Then we talk.
Doctrines and disciplines, family history,
ethics, race—nothing is out of bounds.
We spar, debate, tell stories, and laugh
as the world comes apart in our words.
When we next meet, we’ll put it back
together, we say. In what seems no time,
he stands to leave. I walk him to the door.
I’ll be back, he says. I know you will, I reply.
I feel like I’ve made a friend.

 

Poems from 2 Samuel

 Take Not Take Not Your Holy Spirit
2 Samuel 11-12; Psalm 51

1—David

You call me to be king
yet you made me human.
You gave me the eyes of a man.
How could I resist?
It was the middle of the night
and sleep eluded me. I went
to the roof, as I so often do,
to pace and pray, and there she was
below me. Once again, flesh
trumped spirit. It’s so easy,
Lord. I’m king. I get what
I want. And I wanted her.
And now—the remorse,
the bitterness of soul.
Forgive me, forgive, forgive.
How can I be who you
want me to be? Do not take
your Holy Spirit. Restore Joy.
I bring you my brokenness.
Change my heart.

 

2—Bathsheba
I had no choice.
When the king’s servants
came for me, I knew what it meant.
I didn’t protest. We exchanged no words.
I submitted to him as had others
before me. Honor, shame, and longing
did battle, with no winners.
Now I carry his child and my future
is uncertain. I’m frightened.
I’m so sorry, Uriah.
I’m sorry for all of it.

3—Uriah
The king honors me, sends for me,
has me brought in from battle
to inquire of the war. Who am I
that he should show such favor?
Me, a foreigner, an adopted son
of Israel. I don’t deserve this furlough.
In remembrance of my comrades
in the field, I will not go home.
I will sleep at the palace gates.
I am a soldier. I am a servant.

4—Nathan
Rank means nothing when the word
of the Lord comes walking.
I will go to him.
I will approach from behind
and tell a story.
I will say, You are the man!
and wait for the fallout.